Sat. Jan. 15th
Living through a diagnosis of childhood cancer, whether your child survives it or not, is a life-changing experience for the whole family. And, as excruciatingly tragic as it is, I believe that families “in the club” gain a unique and sometimes kinder perspective as a result of it. Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m definitely not saying that we’re happier people because our children have been forced to battle cancer. But, virtually all of the families that I share a bond with seem to have a higher sense of enlightenment. What do I mean by that?
When your child is battling cancer, you very quickly realize what is important. You willingly let go of ‘earthly’ distractions that seemed so important to you yesterday. You lose any tolerance for gossip, pettiness, ‘small stuff’. Your perceptions of the world – and people- change. And, you see the tremendous goodness in people.
As many of you know, I have great admiration for the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. On this, his 82nd birthday, I think of one of his most famous lines from his Aug. 28, 1963 speech.
“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”
One of the things that I learned when we were in the hospital is that cancer doesn’t discriminate. Our neigbors on the right in the PICU may have been multi-millionnaires while our neighbors on the left were on government assistance. When parents bump into each other in the kitchenette as you’re running to get some crushed ice or juice for your child, you share a warm smile because you have a bond. I didn’t always know the parents’ names, but we almost always asked how each other’s child was doing that day. It truly didn’t matter if the parent was white, black, rich, poor, English-speaking, or whatever. I really believe that the families in the children’s hospitals do not judge each other “by the color of their skin”. When it comes to the tears of a parent, the battle of the child, and loving care of a nurse, the “color of their skin” is totally irrelevant.
Here’s praying that the families battling childhood cancer become a model of enlightenment for all. Furthermore, I pray that those who haven’t walked this path will benefit from the lessons of those “in the club” without having to endure the pain. If this happens, families like mine see some small – but significant – meaning in what has happened to us.
As always, just one guy’s opinion 🙂
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I read a great FB posting from Gold Rush Cure, a childhood cancer fighting organization founded by a great family, the Barkers of Laguna Niguel, CA. Like Andrew, Christian Barker was 14 yrs old when he went to Heaven. The posting said “Cancer is a word. Not a sentence!”
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Featured Family of the Week
Rather than highlighting a new family applicant, I would like to share with you a ‘thank-you’ note received from a family that WE have helped.
“One hundred million thank-yous isn’t even enough to show our appreciation for your generosity. Your generous donation to pay our electric bill helped keep us from getting our electric shut off. My son has been fighting rhabdomyosarcoma since Dec. 2008 with many hospitalizations, transfusions, and operations. During this time, my husband was laid off from his job. I don’t have to tell you how rough it is emotionally, physically, and financially caring for a child with cancer, since you’ve been there. May God bless you for starting The B+ Foundation and for everything you all do.” (Mom of a teenage boy with rhabdomyosarcoma)
None of this is possible without your support. Thank you very much for making a difference in the world!
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Live Like Andrew – MAKE it a great weekend.
B+
Ali’s & Andrew’s Dad
www.caringbridge.org/visit/andrewmcdonough
P.S. This week, Ali had the honor of attending a Papal Audience in Rome. She sat in the 2nd row. Her group from the University of Delaware was introduced to Pope Benedict XVI and they received a blessing from him. For pictures, please visit http://web.me.com/alimcdon/Exploring_Europe_with_Ali_McDonough/Home.html