Missing Andrew
Missing Andrew
What is the ‘right’ thing to do on the anniversary of your child’s passing? There’s really not much you can do to ease that pain. For us, though, we go to a place that was special to Andrew…the Boardwalk in Ocean City, NJ. Across from Congo Falls Mini-Golf (Andrew loved mini-golf and loved monkeys), we have a bench honoring Andrew. So, at 1:55pm on July 14th, we sit there for a few minutes. This year, Chris, Ali and I were joined by our son-in-law Anthony and our precious little grandchildren, Luke & Julia. That helped a little.
Allow me to please repeat what I wrote on our social media channels yesterday.
“Andrew,
It was 17 years ago today that I gave you my last kiss, my last hug. I’m literally crying as I write this. Remembering your Mom and Ali giving you their last kisses makes me hurt even more.
I’m hesitant to list the things that I miss about you, because I’ll forget something important. I miss EVERYTHING about you! Your smile – including with your eyes – just went directly to my heart and changed my mood instantly. You were recognized for your curly hair, your oversized personality, and your athletic ability, but, while true, that was only a small part of you. Aside from being really smart, I think the thing I loved most about you was your kind heart. You cared deeply about people – friends and strangers alike – and you went out of your way to make them feel special. If only more people could be like that today. You are a role model to me. I was so touched when your Mom, Ali, and I received visitors for SIX hours the night before we ‘celebrated’ your life. You touched a lot of lives and I hope you’re happy that you continue to touch people’s lives through your Foundation.
BUT, we shouldn’t have had to say good-bye to a child at 14 years old!!! I know that you’re in Heaven, but it just makes me SO mad!!! Childhood cancer stole you from us…and from the world. It’s certainly not your fault, pal, but your Mom, Ali, and I are forever changed -- for the worse – and our family is just not right without you here. We’re trying to make the best of it (I know that’s what you want), but our family is broken without you here. I miss Mom Mom and Pop Pop, but it’s SO different how deeply I miss you. There is nothing like losing your young child. It’s unlike any other kind of loss in my opinion. I wish parents never had to experience this.
I miss all of the little things. I miss spending time with you. Watching sports, hanging out, laughing, hugging, talking. And, I miss watching you do all of those things and more with your Mom and Ali. I would LOVE to see you become best friends with Anthony, Luke, & Julia. I would love to see your kids playing with Ali’s kids.
Andrew, the only thing I ever wanted to be was a Dad. God blessed me with the opportunity to be your and Ali’s Dad. You are EVERYTHING I wanted in a son…and you’re everything I wanted to be a young man. I am who I am today in large part because of you – my forever 14 year old son. My heart is broken that we didn’t get to share you for more than 14 years. Some people may think that a parent eventually ‘moves on’ after some number of years. That so not true! At least not for us.
July 14th is just another day on the calendar that we’re not together…but it’s not, it’s different. As you know, your Mom, Ali, and I start dreading this day when the calendar turns to July. You know I start and finish my day in your bedroom and I talk to you every day. BUT, it is NOT the same! Life would be so much better with you here.
I suppose other families say this about their children who have died as well. I hope they do.
Andrew, you were, are, and will always be special. I know I can’t have you here, but I hope you’re proud that YOUR Foundation is helping to give other kids a better chance to stay with their families. For now, I guess that’s the best we can do and try to live like you and make the best life for your Mom, Ali, Anthony, Luke, & Julia.
You mean the world to me! Please be with us each and every moment of every day. We need you…I NEED you! I love you, my buddy!!!
Dad”
B+ Hero Kinsley
“I first want to say that I have no words for the loss of your son. That unimaginable journey that no parent wants to trek forward on is painful. Yet, you chose to rise from the darkness and bring light to others grasping hope.
We thank you for your time and the donors for their generosity. Please keep us in your prayers as we navigate these daunting waters.
Your time, attention, and humility are greatly appreciated!
Best wishes,
Kelsi, Rob, Kinsley & Cooper”
Please keep all the kids and families in your prayers.
Live Like Andrew
Ali & Andrew’s Dad