Mon. Aug. 29th

The last two weeks have been a very trying time.  At 1:47pm today, my son, Andrew, welcomed my Mom into Heaven.  Ali is more eloquent than I am, so please see below for a message from her.

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FROM ALI:

I’ve dreaded this day…thinking of life without MomMom in it is so strange.

[I don’t write this to make you feel sorry for me.  Truly, writing and blogging is cathartic for me – it’s a coping mechanism.  I have trouble vocalizing my pain after deaths, so I write. There’s a disconnect from my mind to my mouth, but fortunately, this missing connection is made from my mind through my hand to the paper.  I’d go crazy if I couldn’t get my feelings out this way.]

MomMom, my dad’s mom, left this world today. (It was so hard for me to write that…)

I’m so thankful and blessed to have had the relationship I did with MomMom – it’s what I hope someday my kids will have with my mom.

Looking at her, you’d have no idea she was 86. In 1992, MomMom was diagnosed with CLL Leukemia (no – it had no relation to what Andrew had). Doctors gave her 2 years.  In 1997, she was diagnosed with breast cancer (despite this, she’d be the first to want funding to support the GOLD ribbon and childhood cancer research). While we were in the hospital with Andrew in 2007, she was diagnosed with Melanoma.  Through it all, she had no chemo or radiation and proved doctors wrong constantly (see where Andrew got it?).

MomMom was in great shape. Her heart was as strong as could be.  She went to aquacize multiple times a week at the Y.  She tutored kids at Kennett Middle School each week.  She loved, loved, loved gardening.  But most of all, she loved her family.

Truly the rock of our family, MomMom (and PopPop of course) raised 5 great children and loved 12 awesome grandchildren.

She did all she could to make it to all of our events.  From swim meets, to baseball games, soccer games, football games, lacrosse games, volleyball and basketball games, school events, and monumental steps on the way to Army captain, MomMom was there for her grandchildren.  Would you believe she never missed a B+ 5K, golf outing or grant-giving ceremony? She went to the lab dedication at Nemours Center for Childhood Cancer Research.  She even went to UDance each year – though the loud music wasn’t the greatest, she was there.  She was there at all of these events because she knew how important they were to us.  What she may not have known, is how important we felt by her presence at our events.

I’ll never forget January 27, 2007. My parents were at the hospital, so my uncle brought me home from school.  MomMom was at my house waiting for me, because she didn’t want me to have to be alone for an unknown amount of time since we weren’t sure what was going on at the hospital.  After hours went by, my dad came home.  He called MomMom and me into the family room onto the couch – one of us on each side of him. He said, “There’s no easy way to say this…but, Andrew has leukemia.”  I remember running up to my bedroom, throwing clothes into a bag, called my cousin Kalyn to let the others know and we were off to the hospital.  As we got there, they were losing Andrew.  They rushed him to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit.  Not a day went by in our 167-day hospital stay that MomMom wasn’t there.  She was there as he was taken to the helicopter outside the ER at A.I. duPont Hospital.  She was there when he got back, there for surgeries and even just to sit in and talk to Andrew. Though Andrew didn’t talk much because of all of the medicines he was on, one day when MomMom was standing by his hospital bed in the PICU, Andrew said “Sit down, MomMom. I’ll be fine, MomMom.  I’ll be fine.”  And, I know it broke her heart when her 14 year old grandson passed away July 14, 2007. 

But, Andrew visited MomMom after he went to Heaven.  Each Christmas, she displays an angel that plays music.  For years, the music didn’t play, but it was pretty, so it went on display anyway.  Christmas 2007, our first Christmas without Andrew, the angel sang – without MomMom even touching it or turning the power on. She loved that.

As some of you know, I was going to be living with her this semester.  I only need to be on campus for ½ of the year and nobody in Newark would let me rent for a semester.  To be honest, I didn’t look too hard to find a place to rent in Newark.  I thought it’d be so cool to live with MomMom.  Her house is closer to campus than my real house, so it was perfect.  Plus, who can say they have an 86 year old roommate?! It would’ve been so fun.  I loved getting emails from MomMom asking where I was going to put the TV or how I wanted the bedroom furniture arranged for my arrival. Really, it didn’t matter. I was just excited for quality time with an awesome person.  I was excited for her to teach me to have a green thumb and how to make a mean homemade macaroni and cheese. My classes weren’t scheduled to start until the late afternoon, so I had all day to learn from her. 

I’ll miss her phone calls, emails, our chats in her living room that could go on for hours without us realizing it.  I’ll miss our lunch dates with other cousins.  I’ll miss just stopping by her house to say hi when I’m driving by.

There are so many things I’ll miss about her.  But, I’m also happy for her.  She’s now reunited with her husband, my PopPop, who passed away in 1992.  She’s reunited with her sisters and parents.  She’s reunited with Andrew.  I know he’s there greeting her with his huge smile and head full of blonde curls. 

Selfishly, I wish I could have 20 more years with her. But, as cliché as it may be, her legacy will absolutely live on in our family.

To my aunts and uncles, you made your mom proud.  Really…she told me in our many talks.  Thank you for being so supportive, loving and caring to her.  Knowing one of you was with her was always comforting. 

MomMom, I will always love you!

Ali