Jan 29th!!!

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Nine years ago today, my life changed so dramatically.  And that of my wife, my daughter, and my son.

My old life ended forever on Jan 28, 2007 and my new reality started on Jan 29th.  I left for work that morning giving my son a diet soda to settle his stomach since he was experiencing flu-like symptoms.  By the time Jan 29, 2007 was over, I would hear that my son has leukemia and I would watch him go into septic shock and cardiac arrest.  How does that happen to a seemingly healthy 14 yr old who's in amazing shape?  All of the "important" things I was worrying about the day before were gone forever.

I have never been more scared in my life.  The feeling of helplessness added to that fear.  I'm supposed to protect my family and there was NOTHING I could do but stand there literally cheering Andrew on to stay with us.  And, begging God to step in and save my son's life.

Watching Andrew during those 167 days in the hospital, enduring nearly 50 operations, 4 strokes, and a brain aneurysm gave me a deeper understanding of who my son was and his courage.  Not that I wanted to learn it this way, of course.  I knew Andrew was courageous, loving, and a young man of strong faith, but he was nothing short of amazing during the last 167 days of his life.  And, I have to say the same about Chris and Ali.  So many families in this situation break down.  We rallied, supported each other, and got even closer.  I'm proud of the team that we were and are and proud to say that we are FOREVER a "Family of Four".  And, I try to focus on the wonderful 14 years before we went into the hospital.  We have SO many great memories.

I always thought the four of us would walk out of that hospital.  I don't think I'll ever know why that wasn't the case.  What I do know is that Andrew is in Heaven.  I do know that I am so blessed to be Ali and Andrew's Dad.  I am so lucky to be Chris' husband.  God entrusted Ali and Andrew to us and I'm so thankful for that.  We're so lucky to be their parents and they have shaped who we are today.  But, my heart breaks - mostly for Chris and Ali - that the team is not together in person.  We're just not the same without Andrew here.  But, as difficult as it is, we try very hard to make the most of each day that we're given.  To honor Andrew?  In part, yes, but not totally.  It's up to all of us to make the most of each day we are given.  Chris and Ali deserve to be happy and, while a bit cliche, yes, I know Andrew doesn't want us to cry.  He wants us all to be happy.  He taught us so much in 14 years and one thing was how to live and how to be happy.

So, today, tomorrow, and every day, we try hard to Live Like Andrew and make a difference in the world...just like he did.  Thanks for being with us on this journey. 

Ali & Andrew's Dad

www.caringbridge.org/visit/andrewmcdonough

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